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Clan J&W

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New 09 Models!

Test drive a new Suicycle: Stab Wound today!
( Liability Waiver Required )

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That's right; the New 09 models for Suicycles: Stab Wound series of custom cycles is here! Great financing available!

Bad Credit? No Credit? No Problem! Instant approval!

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Note the additional space between the seat and handle bars for a comfortable ergonomic design for most neanderthols.

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Sporty new front suspension boasts the parts from 3 seperate fork sets!

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No Stab Wound model would be complete without the Dual Shin-Gouger 300-GT! Guarranteed to bring the lucky owner within a hairs breadth of laceration with every turn of the pedal!

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No kickstand required: both pedals reach to within a half inch of the ground at their lowest position (Cornering ability not covered under factory warranty)

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If the pedal rolls too far to be affective as a kick stand, the indicated portion of the frame below the seat may suffice; it offers the slimmest clearance available in our Stab Wound models (Cornering ability still not covered under factory warranty)

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New for the Stab Wound series is the addition of an anti-lock emergency braking system(patent pending).
 
If you manage to find a straight, flat path and reach the astounding top speed of seven MPH, pulling back on the trusty Emergency Brake handle will surely bring your Stab Wound cycle to a safe halt.
 
Note*** Upon attempting to patent the Stab Wound anti-lock brake, manufacturer found that the rights to the patent already belonged to Fred Flinstone. Fierce legal battles ensued.

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Activation of the Stab Wound Emergency Braking System initiates the release of the sophisticated friction lever to the road surface in order to safely bring your Stab Wound cycle to a complete stop. (Operation of Emergency Brake not covered under factory warrantee)

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Remember, when you purchase your Stab Wound custom cycle, you can confidently rest assured that your bike is finely crafted from only the highest quality materials and guarranteed to last a lifetime.

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Don't forget about our large selection of Premium Wheels and Custom Rims! Add style and make your friends green with envy...or blue in the face with laughter.

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Coming Soon!! Quality side-cars for adding that retro flare to your Stab Wound cycle!

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The team here at Suicycles takes pride in building every Stab Wound series custom bicycle with parts from only respectable and reputable wholesalers and retailers.

Clan J&W: Super Smash Bros. Brawl