(The dropship is falling toward the planet, when all of a sudden a loud CLANG is heard.)
Deadfast: was that the primary buffer panel?
Reece: it DID seem to resemble-
DF: did the primary buffer panel just fall off this piece of slag for no apparent reason!?
Reece: (after another CLANG!) looks like.
DF: can you do anything?
Reece: I'll try to put some emergency power into this, but this landing is gonna get pretty interesting
DF: (thinks for a moment) define interesting
Reece: oh god! Oh god! Were all gonna die?
DF: just get us on the ground!
Reece: THAT PART WILL HAPPEN PRETTY DEFFIENTLY!
(Deadfast goes onto the intercom)
DF:this is your captain; we're having some slight problems up here, so we may experience some turbulence and then explode.
Bane 10 alternate ending
Disclaimer: this scene was originally based on the movie Blazing Saddles.
(Everyone starts fighting, bombing, dieing, etc when one of the hydralisks falls out of the shot)
DF: ALRIGHT! CUT!! (Slides up to the hydralisk with a megaphone placed very close to the ears) WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Smacks hydralisk) just watch me! Its so simple you sissy morons! GIVE ME THE PLAYBACK! Watch Me! (Deadfast starts doing what
that hydralisk was supposed to do until he falls into a nearby lake) shit...HAVE YOU GOT IT!?
DF: sounds like steam escaping...ACTION! OH!! WAIT TILL I GET OUT!!! WAIT TILL I GET OUT!!! (Deadfast gets out of the
(Fighting starts again until a backdrop collapses and out pour Yellow's cast, crew, extras and so on)
(Deadfast rushes back into the shot screaming at the top of his lungs)
DF: CCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE!?
THIS IS A CLOSED SET!!!!!
Boris (from Red Alert 2): F**K YOU!! I'M WORKING FOR WESTWOOD STUDIOS!!! (Goes to punch Deadfast in the face)
DF: NOT IN THE FACE!! (Boris kicks Deadfast in the groin, wherever that would be on a hydralisk) thank you? (Sinks to
Nameless Zergling #1: THEY'VE HIT BUDDY! COME ON GIRLS! (They all rush the C&C forces)
(Jarmen Kell knocks a Zergling into the lake and starts laughing)
NZ#2: YOU VULGER SHIT! (Bitch-slaps him)
Jarmen Kell: why you little (Chases Zergling into a nearby corridor a few seconds later, we see them come out talking
like best friends)
NZ#3 (Bitch-slapping Yuri Prime): YOU BRUTE! YOU BRUTE! YOU VICIOUS BRUTE!!! (Breaks down and cries)
Yuri Prime: all right, all right
(Inside the studio commissary)
Guy dressed up as James Bond: how many days you got left John?
Guy dressed up as Hitler: they lose me right after the Bunker scene
Guy dressed up as Hitler: what the hell was that!?
(Mass chaos ensues as everyone in the commissary goes into a food fight.)
Chief: Get your pies for the great pie fight!
(Suddenly, everybody has a pie in their hand, and everyone is throwing them at everybody else.)
Tour Guide: and this is our studio Commissary, where our stars come to eat. Keep in line.
(The tour group goes inside, but gets caught in the food fight. They all come out with bits of food covering them.)
Tour Guide: and now we'll go to the Special Effects department.
(Mengsk is about to go into the bathroom to hide. He goes in, we hear a dull noise, and he comes back out with pie on
(A Yuri Clone gets punched in the head by a guy that looks like Ghandi, and slides down the bars of the counter where
the actors get their food.)
Cashier: Yankee Bean Soup, Coleslaw and Ultralisk surprise. That comes to $84.50.
(The Yuri Clone is knocked out and can’t say anything.)
(This continues for a while, while other sets get knocked down. Eventually, everyone in the studio runs out screaming
and trying to get away as fast as possible.)
Mengsk: Taxi! (One arrives) Drive me off this picture!
(Seconds later, he gets followed by James Bond himself driving a tank)
(Mengsk goes into a theater showing Bane 10.)
Some woman: Look Herman! I'm in Heady Lamar's shoes!
Headly Lamar: THAT'S HEADLY!!
Mengsk: oooooook. (Goes inside. We see a bunch of cows for no apparent reason going up to the balcony. He walks up to
a concession stand.) Skittles!
(He then goes inside the theatre to watch the movie. Although, on-screen, James Bond shows up and gets out of his tank.)
Mengsk (getting out of his seat, Skittles flying everywhere): SHIT! (He runs outside)
Bond: Freeze! Okay, Mengsk, go for your gun.
Mengsk: wait! I'm unarmed!
Bond: okay, we'll settle this like men: with our fists! (Sets gun down)
Mengsk (getting a gun out): sorry, I just remembered: I AM armed. (Goes to take out his, gun. He fires at Bond, but he
gets out of the way, grabs his gun and fires hitting Mengsk in the groin, who sinks to the ground.)
Mengsk (seeing the footprints of a famous stuntman): how did he do such fantastic stunts with such little feet? (He dies)
Charley (coming up): Wow! You shot the bad guy. so, what do you want to do now?
Bond: Come on, let's check out the end of the flick.
Charley: gee, I sure hope it's a happy ending. I love a happy ending.